March 13: Arri speaks

Hey Everybody!  It's me....ARRI

When mom had her back turned, Oregon helped me log on so I could write to you.

Last night was pretty rough.  Mom just didn't know what I wanted.  I was panting for 4 hours.  She gave me water, I drank.  But I just couldn't get enough air.  She finally understood my SOS pant and carried me to the kitchen.  She set me down and I fell.  She put on her coat and helped me get up.  That time I had no problem moving to the door.  I had to go out.  Boy did it take her a long time to figure that out. She must be really tired.  I enjoyed a little time sitting in the newly fallen snow.  It was pretty outside.  Of course every trip outside is not complete without a game of cookies.  It was 2 am  I was tired, mom was tired but we played anyway. I scored 2 whole pupperoni sticks.

Mom crawled into bed and I followed into the bedroom but didn't want to get on the bed.  I just laid at the foot.  She managed to get some sleep.  I didn't.  The trip outside relived me of panting but I was coughing the rest of the night.

I don't know why everyone is awake.  It is still dark out.   I think it must be my birthday.  I know something special is happening.  While the three stooges got their normal breakfast, mom fed me a piece of pumpkin pie.  My very own piece!!!!   I didn't have to share with anyone.  Then, as if that wasn't enough, she made me french toast.  I don't know what french toast is but mom was having some for breakfast and she said I could have some.  No sane dog would argue with mom if she is offering the same breakfast she is having.  I ate some of it but really, I liked the pie better.  Maybe I will get to finish the steak too.

I am kind of tired.  I'm gonna take another nap.  I have to rest up.  Mom says I am taking a train ride today.  I don't know what that is either, but I love riding in the car.  Mom explained that I was going to the Rainbow Bridge.  I would get to see Annie and Maleah and so many other dogs.  She promised I would be able to breathe better.  I wouldn't have all the lumps and bumps.  She wasn't sure if I would see my missing leg there.  That's ok if it isn't, I get along fine without.  I am a little sad that mom and dad won't be there but she said they will meet me later.

I gotta go.  Dr. Mike is here and mom said he has my train ticket.  Thank you for being so nice to my mom.  She always told me how great you all have been.  I will miss everyone.

Sniffs, wags, wiggles and barks!!!

Love,
Arri

March 12: emotion overload

Last night was not a good night.  Arri has had worse nights but there was a bunch of coughing.  He was at least able to sleep between coughing spells.  I could not.

At least twice, I flipped upside down to be closer to him.  To pet him and hold his paw.  He has always like holding hands - specially in the car.  Front seat dog likes to hold the drivers hand.  When he initiates it, it is good.  When I initiate it, it means toenail trim so he will pull away.  Last night during a spell, I reached over to hold a paw.  He stopped coughing, tucked his head into my hand and rested.  It was a rare moment I hope I don't forget.  At that point, I was thinking, today is the day.  I won't let you suffer.  That is probably why I didn't sleep much more.

Summer barked to go out at 6 am.  I let the three stooges out and fed them.  I brought a bowl of food for Arri.  After the night he had, I did not expect him to be interested in breakfast.  He was.  I hand fed him his kibble to keep him from eating it in 3 gulps and ending up choking to death.  After that, we all fell back to sleep.  At 8:30 I got up and ready to take Arri to see Dr. Mike at 9:30.  My late night Today is the day thought had moved to, maybe tomorrow morning would be better.

Tim and I discussed what to do and came to no conclusion.  We would wait and see what Dr. Mike thought.  While Tim was in the shower, I got Arri off the bed.  Not expecting much.  He stood and hopped to the water bowls.  I was momentarily excited.  Today might be a good day.  Then his back leg collapsed while he was drinking.  I lifted him up, he moved do another bowl, started drinking and his leg went out again.  In tears, I helped him to a spot on the tile to rest.  I left the room because I couldn't handle it.  Middle of the night thoughts are just that.  Thoughts.  Reality cuts like a dull, serrated knife.

When I got back to Arri, he wanted to stand.  I helped him up on the tile and made sure he made it to the carpet runner.  I opened the front door and offered an escape.  He stood staring at me.  I understood.  He wanted the sling.  As soon as it was in place he moved very quickly to the door, hesitated for just a second and continued on.  Renewed hope at this burst of energy.  I dropped the sling once down the step and he continued on his own to do what needed to be done.

I was no longer confident that today was the day.

At the vets office, Arri was not his usual complete spaz but still happy to see everyone.  He moved around on his own ok.  We waiting in the exam room for over an hour.  Maybe the second time in 14 years that has happened.  It turned out to be good because Arri calmed down and got his breathing normal while we waited.  He was very happy when Dr. Mike came in.  He sat up, pawed at him and started coughing.  Yea!  That is one of those things a doctor has to hear, you can't describe it to them. All things considered, he felt Arri was doing well.  Well enough to try the chemo if we decided to.  Even though we skipped the oncology appointment, Dr Mike said he could get the chemo for us.

The next challenge was Arri's oozing tumor.  I wasn't the only one to give him a bikini wax. The problem is the location and the fact that Arri is a boy.  Bandages and wraps will get in the way.  We discussed some ideas.  Some I had tried, some were off the wall, i-suppose-if-nothing-else-works kind.  We ended up with a McGyver trick.  Some fur was shaved for better contact.  Then ether was applied to some bandaging.  The ether makes the sticky - stickier.  That was placed in a square around the tumor.  Then a bandage was put over the tumor.  The "bandage frame" provides the surface to attach to so I am not pulling fur out with every bandage change.  It was iffy whether it would stay in place.  When we got home I put the donut on so Arri could not lick and the McGyver bandage seems to be holding fine.

the McGyver bandage

The last thing we discussed was the future.  I mentioned a specific day that we will probably purchase a ticket to the rainbow bridge if nothing goes significantly south before than.  He agreed that the lungs will give out before the rest of him. So we have more time with him.

 For the time being, Arri is not gasping for air.Actually, he has yet to gasp for air.  Maybe in January when he chest was full of fluid.   I don't want it to get to that.  Excitement and exertion bring on panting and more effort to get in enough air but he recovers fairly quickly.  I am laying on the floor with the dogs surrounding me.  As I watch them breathe, Summer takes one breath for every two of Arri's.

Back home, the three stooges go to the park.  When they return Arri barks and announces their arrival.  That is a good sign.

Arri has been working on his 'show me the cookies' technique.  He has added drooling to the game.  He plays dirty.

March 11: answered prayer

For those who have been praying for rest, prayers answered, we finally had some.  It was a good night. I was only up once due to hot panting.  I will see if this trick works tonight but I stuck an ice pack under the covers where Arri normally lays.  At first he avoided the section but he ended up laying on it.   In the morning, Arri was slow to get going but that has become the norm.

When Tim announced a trip to the park, Arri was in line to go.  Tim should have taken Arri on the first trip, not the second.  By the time Tim came to get him, he was less enthusiastic.  He did go but didn't get out of the car.  He enjoyed the car ride.

The day  was up and down and up and down.  Lots of rest, very little coughing.  More stumbling when he tries to get moving but once under way, he gets around fine.  He doesn't recover from toileting any more.  He squats so low and doesn't have the strength to lift his end back up.  Whether the weakness is fatigue or something growing inside causing havoc, I don't know.  Most likely it is fatigue.  We had moments of bright eyes interspersed with a dazed, far away look.

 He was restless most of the day.  He did have enough energy to stalk me around the house.  Normally I can leave a room, telling him I will be right back and he will stay.  Today, he would get up to follow me right away.  I always had to be in view.

When it wasn't raining, he spent some time outside.  I had to make him go out the door.  He knew he had to go but didn't want to cross the threshold.  He has not had any accidents.  Of course now that I have typed that out loud, I am sure he will.

The ace bandage was only somewhat successful.  Two problems were that I did not wrap it overly tight to keep it in place because I don't want any restriction on breathing.  The other problem related to that was that when he would spin in place to face a different direction, the wrap moved.  A thundershirt was suggested.  Excellent idea.  Didn't work.  The wound is too low on his belly and the shirt didn't cover it. I tried boxers, they wouldn't stay on.  What I need is a tube top.  70's fashion, where are you when I need you?  I ended up just putting a big bandaid on it.  Much to my amazement  it has stayed on.   He is starting to bleed through it so I need to change it out.  Hopefully the new one will stay on for the night.

Dr. Mike wasn't in the office today, so tomorrow morning we will go in so he can do a progress review.   I will have a partial answer as soon as we get in the door.  He loves everyone there.  As soon as we enter, he heads behind the counter.  So his reaction will tell me something.

As I review quality of life, I ask myself if he is sleeping more? Has his life boiled down to sleeping and going outside.   And then I look at the other 3 dogs - each unconscious in a comfy spot. I am not sure sleep is going to be a good indicator. Summer was having a most excellent dream earlier.  She was curled up on the sofa, tail hanging off.  Her tail starts wagging and wagging and wagging.  It was pretty funny.

The other day I bought Arri a steak at the grocery store.  I do not yet know when his last meal will be but it should be a good one if I can control it.  I decided to cook it tonight.  He has not been eating canned food so I was not sure if he would eat any.  I cut it into itty pieces and hand fed some of it too him.  I didn't give him too much.  I will use it for treats tomorrow.

Yesterday I made a pumpkin pie.  Tim asked me why? - not that he needs a reason because he loves pumpkin pie.  I was just out of the blue doing it. Of course I burst into tears because I was making it for Arri.  I made one sometime in January or early February and gave Arri a couple of bites.  He loved it.

So tonight when I had a piece, I shared it with Arri.  I gave him the first bite and he licked the fork so after that, he used the fork and I used my fingers.  Pumpkin pie is convenient that way.  Tim asked if he should just give Arri his own piece.  I said no, I don't want him to get sick.  Tim's look was priceless. Really?   Sick?  What I meant was that I don't want him throwing up or the big D.

So I just changed Arri's bandage.  That was some good stick um'.  All I can say is that if anyone ever needs a wax, do not come to me.  I am so very sorry Arri.  I almost didn't put a fresh one on but it was oozing pretty good.  Tomorrow, the pros will figure something out.

March 10: decisions, decisions

I'm tired.  Between the broken nights sleep and the constant questioning going on, I am really tired.   Every day is difficult.  Every hour is difficult. I am constantly reviewing Arri's quality of life and then having to make sure that I am not adjusting what is 'good' quality in order to prolong things.

The mornings are the hardest.  Arri seems to be at his worst at that time. That is when he is least willing to walk or even stand.  Sometimes he eats well, sometimes not.  Initial movement brings on lots of coughing and panting.

By late morning he is much better.  He will stand up on his own and move around.  His appetite is out of control.  He will gladly follow me around the yard  if I have cookies. Sometimes he is a silent breather and sometimes he is panting.  I was surprised to realize he pants differently for when he is hot and when he needs to go out.  His eyes are bright and shiny.

Today he will not touch eukenuba.  Canned food is gross. He snubbed baby food sweet potatoes but liked the canned pumpkin. Cookies are awesome and today he ate his pro plan shredded chicken for the first time in 2 months.  He doesn't seem to drink until later in the day and he does not want water with his food.  Suddenly only dry food will do.

So I am constantly monitoring.  When he sleeps  we could be robbed blind.  No longer the light sleeper barking at any sound the cat makes in the night.  When he is alert and you walk past him, he stares you down and tilts his head reminding you that the toll is one or 5 cookies to pass him.

Today he is following me from room to room.  I didn't have to beat him off with a stick in order to leave for church but he did get up and stop in the doorway to see if possibly he would be invited to go.  He has to wear the donut when we leave.  The tumor on his side continues to weep .  If it isn't because he licks it it is because he lays on it so when he spins on the ground, he rubs the top layer off.  There are always fresh red dots on the carpet.  Tonight I have tried to bandage it.  I put a band-aid on it and then wrapped his belly loosely with an ace bandage.  We will see if it has any benefit at all.

He is currently on the sofa, having asked to get up for the first time in days.  He is doing his heat panting and is restless.  The sofa isn't cool enough but it is comfy.  Scratch that.   He is off the sofa - too hot.

Tomorrow we are supposed to go up to MSU for x-rays, blood work and chemo.  I have already decided I am not doing the chemo.  There has just been too much tumor growth in the last two weeks.  I am not convinced a different drug would do anything.  So the question is do I keep the appointment?  I still don't know.  It is over 2 hours to get there.  Do I think there will be any value to the trip?  The x-rays would give me an idea of the progression of the cancer.  But I already know.  It is growing all over him.  The only thing I can't tell is what is going on with the cancer in his kidney, chest and the nodules in his lungs.  Would a chest tap make his breathing easier?  If I skip the appointment, am I giving up?  or am I acting in his best interest and not prolonging things?  Arri isn't acting like it is time just yet.  He eats well, drinks well, is alert when awake.  He moves around on his own when on a surface that he can get a grip and it is not early in the morning.  I can't fault that too much.  Some people are fairly useless in the morning until they have had their caffeine.

Whew.  I needed to get that out of my head.  With it out of my head, I can think clearer and have decided that I will not be going to MSU.  I will call Dr. Mike and get Arri in so that I can get a 3rd party opinion on how they think he is doing.  Getting an x-ray would be for my own curiosity.  It won't change anything.

Arri has moved to the front door.  I open it and he lays down in the doorway.  He didn't need to go out - yet, this is his hot panting.  He just wants to lay in the open door with the fresh air.  I tried to just crack open a window but that wasn't what he wants.  He wants to guard the doorway.  And guard he does.  While laying there, Tim pulls in the driveway with the three stooges.  Arri barks and barks and barks.  It is the kind of behavior that makes me think we should keep the appointment.  Either way, today is NOT the day.

I just went through some photos from today.  Check out the grinning goober   : )

  

COOOOOKIES.....

see the bump on my cheek?  yep another tumor that showed up in the last 2 weeks.

I'm not coming in until you show me the cookies.

March 9: why today is not the day

  I had decided sometime in the middle of the night that I would give Arri 24 hours.  I don't want him to suffer  but I also don't believe in amputating a finger because you have a hang nail.   Arri seems to agree with that philosophy.  He said he has a hang nail and a paper cut but he is not ready to go to the bridge. After such a difficult night, Arri certainly has thrown a curve ball.

I dragged him off the bed this morning.  He wasn't going to get off until he absolutely had too.  He would not stay standing. I got the sling and held him up, he wouldn't walk.  It wasn't that he couldn't, he just didn't want to.  I wasn't going to give in so I scooped him up and carried him outside.  He had one 'put me down' moment but gave in.  I set him down on the sidewalk.  He stared at me...'now what?'    I walked away to check on the rest of the dogs and saw Arri hop to the snow...not the grass/mulch area, the big pile...as tall as him.  He threw himself onto the pile and just laid there kind of hanging over the top like he was stuck but I could tell he was making yellow snow.  It took awhile before he moved and when he did, he had melted a significant amount of snow.  Mom knows.  He had to go even if he said he didn't.

He hopped over to the middle of the yard and laid down - without collapsing.  Contemplating life.  That was when I noticed his eyes were clear and bright.   Such a nice sight to see.  A customer arrived and I wrangled the 3 stooges into the house before she was greeted to death.  Arri stayed in the grass.  After getting her order, I followed her out to check on Arri.  He had followed her halfway down the stairs.  Did he go back up that way?  No, he had to be difficult and try cross country across the landscape rocks and crunchy snow.  The word graceful was not present.  He found a place to lay down and contemplated life some more.  I went back in the house and left him to decide when to come in.  He stayed in the yard 10 minutes more.  He hopped to the sidewalk and was looking for me.  When I stepped into the doorway he moved with energy.  He stopped at the step....gotta play the game.  Instead of offering him the cookies, I grabbed the sling and lassoed him.  He moved up the step with confidence.

He lays, guarding my back, sleeping soundly.

This afternoon, I was able to lure him outside with cookies.  You would think we never fed him.  Again, he laid down and enjoyed the fresh air.  After awhile, he still had not peed so I lured him farther into the yard with more cookies.  Finally he decided I really wasn't going to give him anymore until he when 'hurry'. He went, we rejoiced with treats and I went into the house letting him come in when he was good and ready - on his own.

It turns out, today is not the day.

March 9: rough night

The signs are getting clearer.  The day is coming soon.

I worked 12 hours yesterday so I didn't get much Arri observation time.  What I did see was that he is not making much attempt to stand up.  He is moving around on his own but he seemed to move the most when someone hoisted his rear in the air for him.  His eyes are missing their sparkle.

Arri would not go outside before bed last night.  He wouldn't stay standing.  He didn't even come into the bedroom.  I climbed into bed and listened.  I finally heard his toenails on the tile.  He was trying but he couldn't get up.  At that point I went and helped him. He wanted to get on the bed but didn't seem to want to do his part of the assisted jumping.  I started to lift him and suddenly he was sorry he did not do his part.  He is not keen on being carried.

I woke up many times to him coughing and panting.  He was restless at 2 am so I offered him water.  Not interested.  I lifted him off the bed and carried him to the kitchen.  He stood.  I walked to the front door and opened it.  Went back to Arri, he was laying down.  I hoisted his rear and he went 5 steps before his back leg collapsed.  We have been seeing more of that in the last 3 days. I helped him again and he got to the front door and paused.  He was about to lay down.  Nope. No way.  He was going out.  I gave him a little rear end motivation and he went out.  He paused once before continuing to the grass.  He started to pee and his leg gave out.  I helped him up and kept walking on the cleared-of-snow path.  Of course he had to go #2 and headed for the snow.  The snow is hard and crunchy and not easy to move over.  He assumed the position and as he tried to step away, his leg gave out again. More assistance and he moved to a pile of snow and laid down.  It was a beautiful clear night.  The stars were out so we sat and watched them for a while.   I was sorry it was 25 degrees and not 75 degrees.  We could have camped out.   I went and got the sling to help Arri in.  We paused a few times but I never felt the sling take the bulk of his weight.

Back to bed.  Summer senses something is up.  She is sleeping right against Arri now.  Poor guy.  Having her close is nice but she is a fire breathing dragon - she radiates some heat.  I have the fan pointed at them.

Tim gets home from work.  Arri is not excited or thumping his tail.  He won't touch the canned food but will eat cookies and eukenuba.  When offered the right food, he eats just fine.  He hasn't gotten out of bed yet.  When I check on him, he is soundly sleeping.   I pet his side and he opens his eyes but his is not yet interested in joining me outside.

The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter.

March 8: demo day

Today was an interesting change in my schedule.  I had to be at the middle school at 7:45 am for Career Day.  I have been going every year for quite a few years now.  I don't go for the bakery, I go to talk about Canine Companions for Independence.

It all started yesterday when my co-presenter came down with the flu. (Hope you are feeling better Beth and thanks for keeping it to yourself)  Doing presentations on my own is not a big deal.  The only reason being on my own this  time is difficult is because it is actually 4 x 40 minute presentations.  By the 3rd one, I am normally going horse.  It is also alot for a single dog to deal with.  Lots of kids.  By the last presentation, the dogs are usually pretty wiped out. Instead of it just being Oregon and me, I decided at the last minute that Glamis needed to come too.  He is a retired service dog and still knows his stuff.

The day did not start all that well.  Arri had a rough night breathing.  Then when Tim offered him breakfast, he had little interest.  Eventually we found he would eat dry dog food.  The bad part was that he inhaled it and ended up in distress when he couldn't decided if it needed to come back up or stay down.  He kept it down but we learned to just hand feed him so he gets it slower.

Next, since I had to leave, I had to force Arri off the bed and outside.  He was not happy to have his schedule rushed and was fairly un-cooperative.  Every time I tried to give him a butt up to walk outside, he outright refused to stand.  I finally tricked him by opening the door to the garage and then the garage door.  He thought he was going for a car ride so he ran outside.  Boy did I feel bad.  He toileted but then I had to give him the bad news that only Oregon and Glamis were going.  Even Summer gave me a dirty look for leaving her behind.  Tim was home but he was sleeping (with earplugs in) so it wasn't like he was going to be great company.

The presentations went fine.  Glamis had a ball.  He was so happy to be out and working.  Pulling my sock off and handing me my shoe were big hits with the kids.  And sure enough, by the last demo, Oregon had had enough.  He would only do something if I asked Glamis to do it first.   But that worked both ways.  Glamis really can not do an UP anymore.  He tries, but it doesn't work.  Glamis was not going to be shown up by the 'pup'.  Oregon did an UP, Glamis was right there trying.  He succeeded twice but mostly he just bounced.  Maybe we can work on that back leg strength and try again next year.

Home from the demos, Arri was laying in the bedroom doorway.  He was subdued.  No interest in going outside.  It was like that all day.  He is missing some energy and interest today.  Since he was the only one that did not go outside, I am pretty sure he is the one that made a mess in the living room.  I was down in the bakery.  I thought I had heard Tim was up and moving around.  From the bakery, I smelled it.  Over the smell of sugar.  I thought Tim was fixing a pretty nasty breakfast.  I let my nose direct me and found that Tim was not yet out of bed and the nasty smell was on the living room rug.  Oregon and Glamis were huddled together in the middle of the kitchen looking over their shoulder at Arri.  Sorry Arri, but they ratted you out.  At that point, when I gave him a butt lift, he stood and went outside.  That would be the other negative about Arri's day.  He is not trying to stand on his own.  He will spin around and look for assistance.  Not sure if that is related to his energy level or if there is something more going on.  I have found more growths on him that are not BB's but masses.  I have found more BB's also.  He has one growing on the outer rim of his other ear.  Pretty soon I will not be able to scratch either ear afraid I will irritate the growths.

At the moment, Arri is resting peacefully on the bed.  He did his part to jump up with my help.  I should have a bit more time to spend with him tomorrow.  The last two days have been way to busy with work and he has not had my back outside the bakery.  He doesn't want to make the trip down the stairs.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day.

March 6: The tinkle tree

This is Arri's tinkle tree.  It was growing in the landscape rocks so last fall, I dug it up and moved it to a vacant spot close to the front door.  It is sheltered and should do well for a few years until a new spot is found.  In the meantime, Arri waters it for me almost every day.  Should this little tree survive his watering, it will be replanted in tribute of  his example to fight adversity.  Arri fought cancer and the tree fought Arri's toxic pee.




Arri is having a pretty good day.

• Overnight:   3 coughing spells.  really not too bad.  I think he is coughing less overall than 3 days ago.
• Breakfast:  would not touch eukenuba and baby food.   Happily ate canned food with dry eukenuba and cookies...started bad but ended good.
• Getting up:  cried to get out of bed.  Still standing when off the bed.   good
•  first walk of the day:  Back leg collapsed moving from kitchen to front door.  I gave him a butt lift but he wouldn't try to stand.  Gave him a minute to rest while I searched unsuccessfully for his sling.  Tried the butt lift again and he was fine.  Did not stumble going out the door.
• Toileting:   good
• Bump check:  I have been lax in monitoring changes.  There are a few that have definitely continued to grow and of course, BB's are still showing up.  While I could be wrong, this just verifies that the chemo is not working.
• breathing:  steady and the new normal for him.  no heavy panting or shallow breaths while laying down.
• Followed me to the bakery:  yes...bad mom, didn't close the Arri gate.  I knew I was only going to be down for an hour before I had to leave for a delivery.  Going up the stairs is hard on his lungs. He has done his one trip today.  I will have to keep the gate up the rest of the day.
• Today is not the day.

Is that a handsome profile or what?

I called the oncologist to see if the special stain slide results were back.  The tests would determine Arri's specific cancer.  Funny, the results came back just today.  Sometimes that statement really makes you wonder - really, was my timing that good?  Anyway, apparently there was some debate on the results but ultimately someone decided that yes, Arri has a  'rare for labs' cancer called Histiocytic sarcoma.  Knowing this information will allow them to use a specific chemo drug.  Now I had the tests done to find out,
 do I give Arri another chemo or not?  Two days ago, it was a definite not.  But Arri has had two pretty good days.  I won't know what to do until I see some test results.  We go in on Monday for x-rays, bloodwork, and chemo.  I told the Dr that my non-scientific mind does not believe the last treatment was effective and I am not sure about doing another chemo.  I need to see the progression of the cancer.  I have not seen any of the x-rays from MSU so I have no idea what has changed.  I would like to see for myself.  The change will give me a time reference to speed of cancer growth knowing the chemo is slowing it down.

King of the snow pile

Summer is a little miffed that Arri gets all the attention so she got me up at 3 am to squat in the yard 30 times.    I only had 1/4 of one eye open so I assumed it was the Big D.  She had disappeared yesterday for about 15 minutes while I was shoveling the driveway.  I thought Tim had let her in the house but no.  I called, nothing.  I looked in the snow to see what direction she went.  No trail leading out of the front yard.  I go back in the house....Tim?  Are you sure you didn't let her in???  duh...he should know...No.  Despite the lack of evidence, I walk around the back of the house to look.  There she was, under the deck eating God knows what.  Cat poop, critter poop....gross,  ewwww, ick,.....she ends up in the penalty box for not coming when called.  I figured I would pay a price in the middle of the night.  I finally found her tracks. She was sneaky.  She stepped between the garbage can and  the house, walking right up against the brick, between the air conditioner and the house and on.  When I first looked, I was looking along the pathway, a few feet from the house.   Once daylight came and she had barked to go out 5 times and squatted 10 times each trip, I finally realized she was trying to pee.  Hey - we had 10 inches of new snow, it was an easy mistake with a girl dog. I followed her around to see what was going on and sure enough, there was pink pee.

Now girl dogs are much harder to get urine samples from.  Add 10 inches of snow and we have a real challenge.  A long time ago, a vet tech told me to use a soup ladle.  So that is what I did.  I finally was able to catch one without snow in it and took it to the vet for testing.  Sure enough, she has a 'serious' infection.  I would say so.  The poor girl must be in horrible pain.  Her light pink pee is now light red.  We started her on the drugs in the early afternoon.   3 hours later, she had dinner.  30 minutes later, she gives dinner back.  Call the vet.  Was that within the time frame to consider it drug related or just coincidence?  It is right on the border.  3 hours is about the limit to call it drug related.  So the next dose will be given with her food to see if that is any better.  If she goes all bullemic again, we will make a trip to the vet.  Meanwhile, Oregon is stalking her when she is outside.  Walks right behind her taking in her scent.  Boys.

March 5 Daily check up

Arri had a pretty good day yesterday.  Get him too excited and he will start the bronchial coughing.  Tim took him to the park just to see what would happen.   Arri played him good.   They arrive and Arri doesn't want to leave the van.  So Tim waits, and waits.  Finally he announces the trip is over and they are going home.  Arri jumps out of the van and starts his walk.  He doesn't go far but he does stretch his legs a bit.  Tim can see he really wants to go to the township building because workers throw bread out to the birds and once Arri learned that, every trip must include an attempt to detour to the feeders.  No - he is never allowed to eat anything but he sure tries.  And he never forgets.

Last night was a rough one.  Every time Arri shifted he started coughing.  It reminds me of bronchitis.  As long as you don't jiggle the gunk in your lungs, you can breathe without coughing.  I thought today would be a trip to the vet to discuss last rites.  The chemo isn't working.  Tumors continue to grow.  The vet really can't do anything else but keep him comfortable.

I got out of bed dreading making the call.  All I want to do it talk details but I can't.  I think about it alot but I don't really want to talk to anyone that can actually do something about it.  Not yet.  Instead, I send an email to the crematorium to ask for more information.  If the ground were not frozen, we would plant him by the raspberries and the cats.  But it is snowing out.  6 inches of fresh snow expected today.

Arri ate breakfast well.  He didn't quite finish it but Tim gave him a big breakfast and I have cut back and started giving him lunch.  So now I am starting a daily/hourly (whatever) quality of life checklist.  A mental one anyway.  Some things that run through my head...

  

Arri's first trip outside today

• Eats Breakfast - good.   
• When the time comes for Arri to get out of bed. he did so willingly and once off the bed he stayed standing instead of just laying back down...good.  
• When i told him it was time to go out, I got a goofy grin and tail wag....good.  
• walked around the yard, completing his business without coughing...good
• followed me room to room...good ...he has the energy and desire
• followed me down to the bakery...no...bad.. but not horrible.  he knows his limits and that trip is too much.  I am ok with that.
• when I checked on him after working awhile, he saw my head peek around the corner and he  barked at me...alert...good
• wanted to go for a car ride...yes ...good
• when I got to the store, he wanted to get out....good... but he wasn't on the ride for that purpose.  triggers a thought to stop at the park on the way home.
• wanted to get out and walk at the park...yes...good  At first he didn't walk 10 feet but I gave him time to think about it.  while my back was turned he went for his walk.  I turned around and he was on his way.  He made it the length of the parking lot before stopping to sit.  I waited and when he was ready to go, he started back to the car.  It was a good trip.  No coughing or gagging.

So now he is resting from the trip.  His breathing is steady and strong.  After laying still for awhile, he will cough next time he gets up.  Time to start monitoring how long the coughing lasts and how quick he recovers.  

In the end, I think his lungs will give out before his attitude does.  Time will tell.  Today is not the day.

Marching 4th

We continue to take one day at a time.  Arri does not seem to be responding to the last chemo treatment.  He got sick.  He got better and now he is declining.  He is having breathing issues.   A lot more panting, a lot more coughing and gagging.   The coughing bouts are getting stronger and he often ends up on the floor disorientated.  It looks like a head rush.  He just needs the world around him to stop spinning.

After I removed the stitches from the biopsy incisions, Arri decided to use the sidewalk and the stairs (most often) as a loofah.  He tends to lay on the side where the incision was.  The incision healed fine, it was the skin covering the remaining tumor that was so thin it would bleed from just a small licking.  He had a large scab from the lick sore.  So it was not uncommon over the last 3 days to find his belly covered in blood, or blood drops on the floor or on his leg or a trail going down the stairs.  The first time it happened there was so much blood.  I thought he busted the incision open.  It wasn't until I cleaned him up that I figured it out.  Every time he got up to move from one place to another, I checked his side to make sure it was ok.  Otherwise I grabbed a paper towel and walked next to him pressing on the wound until he found the right place to lay.

The BB's continue to multiply.  Some have grown.  I have not been as diligent at tracking them in the past 10 days or so.  He now has 8 just on his face and top of head.  There are just so many and I know we are getting closer to the end.  For a couple of weeks I have been poking at a spot on the back of Arri's head - right behind the left ear.  For the longest time, it felt like a bone - part of the skull. I could never find it on the other side but excused that fact by saying it was because his head was turned a certain way.   I lived in denial about what it was until Saturday.  I finally put a hand behind both ears and compared.  It is hard as bone and immovable   It is no longer the size of the smart bump at the peak of his head.  It doesn't poke out so much as spread down.  At this point I would say it is about 2 inches long, starting mid-ear at the top and moving along and under the ear.  I will point it out at the next Dr visit but there is nothing to do about it.  I would want to know what it was out of curiosity.   If I had Arri growing up, there is a good chance I might have considered becoming a vet.  I want to know what it is, why it is and how to fix it.

So, back to the breathing and coughing....He is worse when he gets excited or exerts himself too much.  Tim has stopped taking him to the park and Arri is not very interested in going.  We are not fighting to get out the door anymore.  He gets up and moves around, he just doesn't go very far before taking a rest break.   His breathing at night has kept us up a good deal.  Maybe because his breathing is shallower, he seems to be having difficulty cooling himself off.   I will bring him the water bowl in the middle of the night and he takes a good drink.  I think that is part of the reason he goes outside as often as he has been, no so much to pee, but to lay on the sidewalk or in the yard.  He cools off his belly and watches the world go by.  The last 3 days he has been eating snow/ice.  That is very odd because he hasn't wanted ice in 8 or 9 years.  Of course, he is also eating dirt - what's with that?   He gnaws at the ground to get the grass out of the way and then goes after the dirt like it is the greatest stuff ever.

Last night I decided to try something the vet suggested back when this all started.  Placing a fan so that the airflow is forcing more air past Arri's face, allowing him to take more in.  I didn't wake up to him panting or coughing all night.  The fan seemed to keep him cool and breathing better.   He was more excited for breakfast this morning.  I didn't feel like he was eating it to make me happy.

Feb 26: vampires aren't afraid of the sun

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny, winter day.  Clear blue skies and just warm enough to be melting snow without making mush of the front yard.

Arri has an appointment with the vampire on this beautiful day. Woo Hoo  A car ride!!!!!  It is time for the 7 day post chemo blood check.  He was happy to see everybody - even the annoying, ankle biting barkers that mom wanted to duct tape their mouths shut.  Thanks to the tile floor, Arri went grudgingly to the back where the vampire waited.  Yes, I was pushing his rear and he had no traction so he ended up where he needed to be.  Back in the room with me, he bounced as though nothing had happened.

We seem to be balancing out his food even with the challenges.  He has gained a pound since the last visit to this scale and that puts him at 57 lbs.....right on target.  The office has a new scale that they put in one of the exam rooms.  For some reason, Arri loves to lay on the scale.  Every visit, he jumps on and off the scale and ultimately he decides that is the best place to lay.

 Dr. Mike came in and we chatted about how he was doing.  He looked at the biopsy spot and gave us some antibiotics just to be on the cautious side.  I wasn't concerned about the results so I freed up an exam room and went to check out.  While distracting the ladies at the front desk, the results came back.  They were not great.  His counts were low.  Not unexpected and not so low to be of concern but lower than we had seen previously.  The new medicine had a much stronger effect on Arri.  The results are basically a base line to see how he rebounds.  In two weeks, they will do the test again and if the numbers are up, he will be able to have the next chemo.  If they do not come up, he will not likely have a treatment.

As much as I hate to do it, I had to put the donut on him.  He was licking his incision from the biopsy relentlessly.  The incision was not bleeding, but he had caused a bleeding lick wound right next to it.  He seems to be bleeding very easily.  The growth in his ear also weeps very easily.  We have also noticed Arri is getting clumsy.  His back leg frequently stumbles in the past few days.  It may be from minimized exercise.  He has not been to the park in a week.  It may be weakness from not feeling well. Or it may be a long term weakness.  His breathing is pretty steady.  Not getting any worse anyway.  Dr. Mike thought he was doing incredibly well.  He agreed that not doing the chest tap last week was a good choice.  If he is not laboring to breathe, don't risk it.

I got the camera out and tormented Arri again.  I am certain he is not happy to be a captive subject.  He can only run so far before he gets winded and has to rest.  That is when I swoop in with the camera.  I was able to get some nice pictures of the donut boy because he is so food obsessed right now. I just have to move a hand towards my pocket and his head turns and ears perk up.

Cookies in your pocket?

Cookie above the camera

Why do you keep putting the camera under  my chin?

More odd body part photos...one more growth under the chin

Feb 25: meatloaf and morning sickness

Thurs, Feb 21:  If I didn't know better, I would think Arri was pregnant.  He has morning sickness and tires easily.  It is quite disappointing that that is not the issue.  Arri puppies would be great!

After 2 days of decent eating, Arri went completely off food of any kind.  He turned his nose up on everything.  Not even cookies or meatloaf would tempt him.  The odd thing was that every time I walked near him, he gave me the 'got food?' look.  I would offer and he would snub it. We have seen this before so I wasn't concerned just yet.  I gave him 24 hours to be sick and then if he still wouldn't take food, I would shove an appetite stimulant down his throat.  Since he is not even trying to put food in his mouth, this would have to be the method.

 It wasn't until late in the morning that he ate a hamburger and a few cookies. Two hours later, he was refusing food again and had not had a drink all day.  He ate a little more burger and cookies in the late afternoon.  But refused anything again a few hours later.  Right about bed time - for Arri - 8:30, he ate some more burger and finally had a little water.  Overall, he ate one healthy sized meal of burger and cookies.

Fri, Feb 22:  Today I will see if I can get an appetite stimulant in him.  This morning, he ate 3 cookies and 3 'if I must' bites of canned food.  It is a slight improvement but clearly he is still going to be finicky and his stomach just isn't quite right.  He refused all food until 10:30 am at which point he felt well enough for some burger again.  I suppose I need to make him a meatloaf because it has some extra vegis in it.

He is having some toileting issues at the moment.  Considering the how little water he is drinking, he is still peeing just fine.  Too dark in color but that will get better when he is eating better and I can add more water to his food. His other end isn't working right.  That is one of the possible side effects of the medicine.  He is a little too soft.  I will be picking up some medicine to help that later.  It was a good thing I was on the phone with the vets office because I couldn't help rolling my eyes and smiling when they suggested a low residue diet.  As his chemo happened elsewhere, I can't expect them to know what is going on so I remind them that he is currently refusing to eat anything but hamburger.  They send home some complimentary low residue food to try when we picked up his medicine. : )   They take such good care of my 'kids'.

Look into my eyes......you want to give me cookies....

Sat & Sun:  The appetite stimulant has kicked in so Arri will now pretty much eat anything and is begging for everything.  He wants to make up for lost meals.   With Arri eating meatloaf, eukenuba, baby food and cookies all day, we have developed some issues with the other dogs.  They have been given a few too many sympathy treats and have started begging or maybe demanding is more accurate   As of Sunday, they have been banned from treats unless being put in their kennel.    Oregon has been the worst and has his own story.

Oregon:  For months now we have been battling the clock with Oregon.  We are of the opinion that toileting does not need to happen between 10 pm and 5 am give or take.  Oregon often thinks 10pm, 2 am, 4, am and 6 am work well for his schedule.  Despite the time difference, we have made progress in that he will now whine to let me know what time it is.  We went through a phase where his signal was to go and then wait until the smell wafted over and woke me up gagging.

 We have tried digestive medicine that worked for a short time.  Then we added probiotics to his food and that worked until we took him off it to see what would happen.   I finally tried to switch him to a new food.  Well, that backfired spectacularly.   Ok, it could have been much, much worse, but either way, it failed.  We were switching from Eukenuba to Science Diet.  I have never had a problem with Science Diet.  Oregon did fine during the transition period.  He ate his first full Science Diet meal and I thought all was well.  The next morning, he refused to eat.  He didn't refuse all food,  he walked away from his and tried to get Arri's meatloaf.  I guard Arri when he eats so Oregon didn't have a chance.  After refusing to eat several times, Tim gave him a bowl of Eukenuba and he ate without hesitation.  Ok, Science Diet is out.  Thankfully, Tim had picked up the smallest bag.   I mix the Science Diet with the bin of Euk. so we use it up. Oregon refused the mixed food.  It seemed that if he smelled the Science Diet, he would not eat it.    This boy is going to get really hungry.  I am not picking out the Science Diet and he will not be getting treats to make up for the missed meal.  At this point, the appetite stimulant had kicked in and Arri was happily eating everthing so he ate Oregon's food.  Oregon won the battle so that I finally diluted the food bin with more Eukenuba and now Oregon tolerates his meals.  Maybe he understood what the goal was because he has not asked to go out in the wee hours since the experiment.  Woo Hoo a week of mostly undisturbed sleep.  We won't count Arri waking me up with labored breathing because we are just happy to hear him breathe.

Feb 20: chemo 3 follow up

Arri is responding better than after the first chemo but not as good as the second.  I am not surprised by this.  He received a new drug so I was expecting him to be a little off his appetite anyway.  He is not terribly off.  He does not want his kibble but will eat canned food.  He is only eating 1/2 meals so I am offering him small meals every few hours.  Of course he still loves his Old Mother Hubbard cookies.  He sent them an e-mail thanking them for making such yummy treats and they are sending him a coupon for more.  That is nice because we are running low.

He continues to have the coughing/gagging episodes and too much exertion taxes his breathing.  All expected since I did not have his chest drained.  We have to go in for blood work on Monday and if necessary, we will drain fluid off then.

I had to make him wear the donut yesterday.  He started licking his incision sites.  He has one one his belly and one on his hind leg.  The one on his leg annoys me a bit.  He has bumps all over his body and they choose to cut into his only back leg.   He is doing much better today but yesterday, it clearly pained him when he hopped and toileting was a challenge.

punch biopsy off his belly

the growth on his ear...he scratches and so it bleeds regularly.

I have started to fret again so it is time to do a brain dump.  I need to get the concerns out of my head for awhile.  I know the answer will come, I just have to stop focusing on it.   There are just too many 'what if's' at the moment.   We made it through graduation just fine, what could possibly be on my mind now?    Vacation.  That is what.  We already cancelled a trip to Florida.  Now, our big vacation is in question.  It is a bucket list trip to Alaska.  It is in May.

In reviewing Arri's discharge paperwork from the hospital, I noticed for the first time that there was a prognosis statement.  With chemo treatments, the average dog survives 3 - 4 months.  This is an average - could be longer, could be shorter.  We are already over a month in.  May puts us over the 5 month point.  As well as Arri is doing he could reach this point.

There is no way I could stop treatment just because I want to go on vacation.  There is also no way I can put this kind of burden on a sitter for 2 weeks.  Looking at the calendar, Arri would be due for chemo and blood work while we were gone.

Of course, it could be a non-issue.  We may lose him before that.  The problem is that payment is due in full next week.  We bought trip insurance and I just learned that pets are not covered.  I guess I should have checked that before now.  Of course, Arri was not sick when we booked the trip.  He had just been declared cancer free.  So now I am waiting to hear what would happen if we canceled the trip right now.  I don't want to.  I am stuck between and trip and a paw place.  Continue with our plans, knowing 3 months is a long time for things to change?  The best case would be we go on the trip and Arri is healthy enough for me to leave him.  

I think I will go hug on my boy and pray about it for awhile.  The answer will come, I just need to stop trying to control it.

Feb 18: Chemo #3

Today was another very long day.  Arri needed to be at MSU Vet Hospital between 8 and 8:30 am so we hit the road before 6 am.  Today he is supposed to be having a chest x-ray, maybe an ultrasound and a chemo treatment.

We arrive on time and Arri gets called back fairly quickly.  We review his new lumps and bumps as well as his current breathing issues.  I am told they might not do chemo if the lumps and bumps turn out to have metastasized from his internal tumors.  This... I was not expecting.  I was thinking more drugs or different drugs. I take a second to digest that thought and decide I'll roll with it and see what happens.  The technician lets me know the Dr will talk to me around noon and see how we proceed - based on the test results.  Well, I was wondering how long this appointment would last.  At least 4 hours.

Arri goes in the back and I settle in for a long winters nap.

It has only been an hour and I am restless.  Since I know they will not be in touch for awhile, there is no point in planting myself in a chair.  I was excited to look online and find a yarn shop just 2 miles away.  I pack up and check out this college town.   The shop had not opened yet so I parked and wandered up and down the 'strip'.  It was not yet 10am and it was pretty lifeless.  Guess they don't do early classes.  I finally wandered to the yarn shop only to see a sign on the door for new hours - Closed on Monday.  Nice....update your website please.

I drove around a bit more, found a strip mall with craft stores and a Panera and amused myself for a little while.  Eventually I found myself back at the hospital waiting area and planted myself with a book.  

The Doctor called around 12:15 to let me know what was going on.  I guess they forgot I said I would be sticking around.  Easier to call than walk down to the waiting area.  That is one thing I noticed with the oncology side of the hospital; they don't do talks in rooms or offices.  They just talk to you out in the lobby, regardless of how many people are around.  Odd.  I certainly hope if they have bad/unexpected news, they do move it elsewhere.

So much information was thrown out there.  The BB's do appear to be sarcoma.  This is curious because they were working on the idea that the internal cancer was carsinoma.  It would be highly unusual for a dog to have two different kinds of cancer.  So now the thought is that he has disseminated histiocytic sarcoma which has no 'typical' presentation.  If I understood correctly, it can show under microscope as anything it wants.  Arri's slides did show multiple kinds of cells.  They did not consider histiocytic sarcoma previously because Labs rarely get it.  It is more common in Bernese Mountain dogs and Flat coated retrievers.   She also said the internal cancer has progressed so they want to change the chemo drug.  I was surprised by this because he was doing so much better.  I guess how he feels/behaves has nothing to do with what the cancer is doing.   So instead of Carboplatin he would be getting Adriamycin.  This drug tends to cause heart damage over time so we can only have 6 treatments using it.  Once every 3 weeks.

They also wanted to get better samples of the BB's that have grown.   The reason being, if they get better samples they can test specifically for the histiocytic sarcoma.   If they confirm that diagnosis, then they would change to a different chemo drug that is effective for that type of cancer. She started out with saying removing the tumors = surgery.  I was not keen on this and she must have sensed it over the phone.  In early January, they made a big deal of the growths in his lungs and not wanting to sedate and compromise his breathing.  So no, if he is getting worse, I really don't want surgery.  I am offered another option - he is already under mild sedation from the x-ray/ultrasound.  They would give him a little more with a local anesthetic and do a 'punch' biopsy.  They don't remove the whole tumor - just take a part of it.  It meant a slight incision and a few stitches.  As well as another shaved body section.  The poor boy will never have a full body of fur again.  It never gets a chance to grow all the way back.

He did have some fluid in his chest.  We considered having it drained but decided against it.  She did not think it was a sizable amount.  I decided to monitor his breathing and if need be, our home vet can drain it.

He finally comes out around 3:45.  LONG day.  He is still drugged and is having a hard time focusing and standing.  We just make it outside to toilet.  Poor boy couldn't even stand for that - he sat down before he was done.  Glad I travel with paper towel in the car.  I could clean up his tush. Back inside to get some final information from the Dr - and to finally talk to her face to face.  It will be 3 - 5 days before the biopsy tests come back.  He will have blood work in a week and if all is well, we will do this again in 3 weeks.  Hopefully, only an x-ray and chemo then.

Before we left, I offered him half of his dinner.  He ate just fine.  Arri cried on the way home.  I hate that. I know it is not the result of pain but the sedation medicine.  Still, I just want to snuggle next to him until it wears off.  Unfortunately I couldn't, someone had to drive.  He continued to cry for a while when we got home.  I offered him a cheesy pain pill but he refused.  We might have a few difficult days ahead.  It is supposed to get down into the single digits tonight.  The cold will not be great for his breathing.

Feb 16: We survived Feb 15!

Wow!  What a day yesterday.  North Central Region of Canine Companions for Independence graduation

It started at 2:30 with Oregon singing the song of an upset stomach.  Not exactly what I would choose for my morning alarm but it is very effective for getting one out of bed.  Not sure if it was a result of the new food he is transitioning to, or the early morning hungries and he needs more dinner or a later dinner.  More trial and error in the future.

4:30 am:  Oregon had another visit from Uppy Chucky.

5:30 am:  time to get moving.  I have to get the animals fed and watered and the car loaded before 6:40 departure.  I have to load up with alot of fruit and vegis to avoid the fast food trap.  I gave up 'white' food for lent (sugar, white flour, white potatoes  rice) so no fries or burger buns on this trip.

6:40 am:  It is time for the dreaded loading dogs in car.  Arri wants to go.  I had a brilliant idea last night - Once I got the 3 musketeers in the garage, I would lure Arri away from the door with a peanut butter stuffed bone.  Allowing me to grab coat, purse, etc and get out the door with out him giving me the abandonment look.  It worked!!!!  It was still hard to leave but it went much easier than I feared.  Grandma and Grandpa will be over in the middle of the day to hang out for a few hours.

There is an inch of fresh snow on the ground, it is snowing very hard and the roads are a mess.  I know it is only lake effect snow but lake effect can extend 60 miles and actually be worse farther from the lake.  They are predicting 8 inches today.  I will not worry that grandma and grandpa can make the drive over.  The roads will be fine in a few hours.

I drop Glamis and Summer at day care.  Glamis is thrilled and gallops around the room.  Summer shoves her face through the fence and gives me the abandoned look.  I am just so cruel.  She will be fine once I leave.

6:55 am:  Oregon and I are officially on the way to the CCI graduation in Columbus, OH.  Woo Hoo!!!  The roads are miserable.  White out conditions and unable to see any paint marks on the road. I only drive off the edge of the road once, spending a minute fairly out of control before recovering. Ok, I will slow down a bit more.   God, Please don't let this weather continue for very long.

As I approach the ramp to I-80, the roads are not great, better, but not great.  It is still snowing.  Knowing I-80 has a reputation for horrible, multi-car pile ups, I continue south, to US-30, hoping the roads get better.  They do.  It is still snowing but not accumulating and the roads are pretty dry.  After that, the drive was fine - right up until.....

the human road block.  I was within 40 minutes of my destination and suddenly, I could not go straight.  some people in florescent vests were directing traffic off the main road.  Great.  I am in the middle of farm country with no idea of where to go once I am off my main route.  Thankfully, I am a sucker for buying items that come with free stuff.  When I bought my smart phone, I was debating between two models.  One came with free stuff, the other didn't.  Guess which one I bought?  Yep - this one came with a hands free car adapter.  I plugged the phone in and brought up the navigation program.  woo hoo!!!!!  back on track

I arrive with 5 minutes to spare.

12:00:  Time to love on Teva!!!!   I get 30 minutes to love on Teva before I meet his partner, Jena.  I would like to say Teva was thrilled to see me but Oregon was there so I wasn't his primary focus.  I did eventually get his attention and got some love and hugs and pictures.   He was so soft and fluffy.  And he looked so handsome in the beautiful blue vest!!!




12:30:  Teva and Oregon are sequestered while I go meet Jena and her family.  Jena is a beautiful, young, college age woman.  I just loved her from the start.  Her mom and brother were there and they are so nice.  I think I will keep them.  CCI has done it again.  They made a great match and I am thrilled with the family Teva has gone to.

2:00:  Graduation ceremony...As I entered the room to find a seat, Jena's mom caught my attention.  She had saved a seat for me.  Up until then, I really had not gotten emotional.  That choked me up a bit. Teva is actually Jena's Successor Service Dog.  Her first dog passed away last year.  I could see the emotion for her and her family as past and present met during the ceremony.  Teva brings with him the medicine to mend a broken heart.  In time, the past will be remembered with joy and not tears.  Teva's fur will gladly absorb the tears until that time comes.  I was so proud to be able to hand over the leash.  Teva is a great dog and he went to a wonderful young lady. Wishing them many, many happy years together.

Post graduation was a whirl. So many people I saw from afar but didn't get to say hello to.  Congratulations to the other graduates and hugs to those who turned in their pups.  Every tear shed is worth it.

Meanwhile - back in Michigan - Arri's sitters arrived.  He went out, came in, went out.  Barked at every car that went by.  He got a bit too excited when the UPS man came by and needed to be calmed.  LOVED his lunch of Eukenuba and boiled potato.  I am sure he would have preferred Grandma's gyro but he ate what was offered to him.  He enjoyed the company and Grandma and Grandpa had a nice afternoon with  them.   Even Freckles the cat joined in the fun by settling on Grandma's chest while she tried to nap and then moving over to Grandpa while he tried to read.  She has now claimed them as hers.

The report from day care was that Summer was fine until other parents started to pick up their kids.  At that point she planted herself and stared at the door waiting for her daddy to pick her up.  She is such a princess. Having recently learned that my own mom quit work when I started going to day care because I cried so much, I guess Summer takes after her mother.

The drive home was uneventful, if you consider missing  my turn and having the phone direct me on every back road in Ohio prior to getting me back on the road I needed, uneventful.  Once back on the right road, I knew the way home without assistance.  That was a really good thing because the navigation system drained my phone battery dry.

I fully expected to hit a wall of snow when I reached South Bend but the roads were dry.  And they stayed that way.  All the snow happened as I was leaving that morning and melted away by evening.   I was home by 9:00 pm.    What and exhausting but great day!

Feb 14: Arri love ;)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Feb 12: Separation anxiety follow up

Friday ended up ok.  I worked the afternoon and evening without the dogs around.  It turns out, all the dogs were a little unhappy about that.  When I finally emerged from the dungeon and sat in front of my chair on the floor - I had to as my chair was occupied by a princess.  Oregon was the first to flop across my legs and leaned up against my chest.  Summer was not going to give up her seat so she wrapped her head around my shoulders like a scarf.  When they were securely velcroed to me, Arri plastered himself against my side.  There was no room for Glamis but that was ok as he preferred to do the happy dance dribbling a ball around the room.

My Saturdays are always very busy and stressful and the dogs are accustomed the the 'go away' command.  They give me some space or suffer the consequences of someone with a very short fuse.  In the evening I go into shutdown mode and we just veg in front of the TV.

Sunday, Arri blocked the door when it was time for church.  He is such a stinker.  We have gone a few days without any coughing/gagging but today it started again.  A bit more severe than anything we have seen in a month.  Arri still wants to go to the park and it doesn't seem to trigger any breathing issues so he is allowed to go once a day.  For the most part, the coughing happens in the evening/night.  A few more BB's have been found.  He has a larger one growing on his chin.  It is the size of a pea.  Considering the number of them I have found, only 4 have grown.

Today is day 6 of my separation anxiety program.  For the most part, it is going ok.  It is only 7 am and we have already had an issue today.  For at least a week, we have been dealing with Oregon needing to toilet between 3 and 4 am.  It doesn't matter if he went at midnight, he goes around 4, again at 5 and usually again around 6.  For the last few days, I have been unable to get back to sleep after this lovely interruption to sleep.  Today, I gave up and decided to go to the gym at 5 am.  I would feed the dogs when I got back.  I had no reason to think this would be a problem but when I got home, Tim was up and all the dogs were outside and had already had breakfast.  Arri cried and whined when I left and got Tim up.  Have I mentioned, he is a stinker - Arri that is.

I went to take a shower and Arri stood by the door expectantly.  I invited him in but he just stood there.  I tried to close the door and he blocked me.  He finally came into the bathroom with me and laid down in the closet.  He used to do this every morning so it was nice to have his company again.  I had a feeling about his motives and I was right.  He just wanted to snort my hair.  Arri has always had a weird fettish with my hair conditioner.  Before my hair is dry, I lean over to let him run his snout through my damp hair.  You would think this stuff was catnip.  He just goes all silly, dancing, sneezing and repeatedly running his face through my hair. This morning I got a glimpse of the young Arri.  Of course, now that he is fed, watered and had a snort of conditioner, he is back in bed sleeping - along with everyone else.  Oregon is at my feet snoring to wake the dead.  I guess I need to go to work.