March 9: why today is not the day

  I had decided sometime in the middle of the night that I would give Arri 24 hours.  I don't want him to suffer  but I also don't believe in amputating a finger because you have a hang nail.   Arri seems to agree with that philosophy.  He said he has a hang nail and a paper cut but he is not ready to go to the bridge. After such a difficult night, Arri certainly has thrown a curve ball.

I dragged him off the bed this morning.  He wasn't going to get off until he absolutely had too.  He would not stay standing. I got the sling and held him up, he wouldn't walk.  It wasn't that he couldn't, he just didn't want to.  I wasn't going to give in so I scooped him up and carried him outside.  He had one 'put me down' moment but gave in.  I set him down on the sidewalk.  He stared at me...'now what?'    I walked away to check on the rest of the dogs and saw Arri hop to the snow...not the grass/mulch area, the big pile...as tall as him.  He threw himself onto the pile and just laid there kind of hanging over the top like he was stuck but I could tell he was making yellow snow.  It took awhile before he moved and when he did, he had melted a significant amount of snow.  Mom knows.  He had to go even if he said he didn't.

He hopped over to the middle of the yard and laid down - without collapsing.  Contemplating life.  That was when I noticed his eyes were clear and bright.   Such a nice sight to see.  A customer arrived and I wrangled the 3 stooges into the house before she was greeted to death.  Arri stayed in the grass.  After getting her order, I followed her out to check on Arri.  He had followed her halfway down the stairs.  Did he go back up that way?  No, he had to be difficult and try cross country across the landscape rocks and crunchy snow.  The word graceful was not present.  He found a place to lay down and contemplated life some more.  I went back in the house and left him to decide when to come in.  He stayed in the yard 10 minutes more.  He hopped to the sidewalk and was looking for me.  When I stepped into the doorway he moved with energy.  He stopped at the step....gotta play the game.  Instead of offering him the cookies, I grabbed the sling and lassoed him.  He moved up the step with confidence.

He lays, guarding my back, sleeping soundly.

This afternoon, I was able to lure him outside with cookies.  You would think we never fed him.  Again, he laid down and enjoyed the fresh air.  After awhile, he still had not peed so I lured him farther into the yard with more cookies.  Finally he decided I really wasn't going to give him anymore until he when 'hurry'. He went, we rejoiced with treats and I went into the house letting him come in when he was good and ready - on his own.

It turns out, today is not the day.